REUNIONS
REUNIONS
It's about time you got back to me.
Don't you realize this crazy old man is about to perform some kind of brain surgery on me? Without anesthetic! Although, now that I think about it, even with anesthetic that's still not a good thing. They say that at times like these your whole life flashes in front of you. Maybe so, but all I have time for now are the events of the last few days:
There I was, resting comfortably in jail, when Kitsune shows up to break me out. She needn't have bothered, because I was in there on her account in the first place. It was all because I'd been mistaken for Moriyoh's Notorious Panty Thief. But she was the real Panty Thief. It was all because of that fox thing, you know. She's possessed by all these fox spirits who express their personalities at random times, though what strikes me is that they all seem to be pretty anarchic.
Anyway, she'd broken into my cell at night, dressed like Zorro. Yeah, like in the movies. Zorro means "fox," you know. I thought that was a bit of a stretch, but she looked hot in that black outfit and the mask. After we made a pretty messy escape, she took me into the woods, where Master Taro was waiting for me. Of course, now I was in real trouble, and I could probably never show my face in Moriyoh again. But there was more at stake than my personal fate. Miss Kuchisake had my sister, Yuki, and was going to feed her to Uzumaki, that same demon she was going to serve me up to. Master Taro said he'd been told in one of his dreams that Miss Kuchisake was currently haunting Himeda Ridge. That might sound like flimsy intelligence to you, but I've discovered that when Master Taro dreams something, you can take it to the bank.
Somehow or other, he had also managed to recruit Kenta and the guys from the Survivalist Club. They were all camped out in the woods, waiting for Master Taro to lead us all in an assault on Miss Kuckisake's lair. The Survivalist's were just a bunch of gamers and otaku (I know, because I used to be one myself), so I had my doubts about how good they'd be in a fight. But as things turned out, it really didn't matter anyway.
You see, at first Master Taro withheld from me the fact that Miss Kuchisake had my sister, so for all I knew the girl we were going to rescue could have been just any damsel in distress. I guess Master Taro doubted how effective I'd be if I knew about Yuki. It was Kitsune who told me, and that made me angry at Master Taro for not telling me. In all the time I'd known him, he'd never been very forthcoming about anything-that damn, laconic samurai. It was just like I didn't deserve to know what was going on, just obey orders. We almost came to blows, but I stormed out of his tent, pissed off and confused.
On top of that, Kitsune had disappeared again, so I couldn't turn to her either. Fortunately, Kenta's mother was on hand and invited me to breakfast.
Mrs. Katakana is kind of attractive for any older woman. She's not really Kenta's mother, apparently, but his aunt, and she used to be a nun. But you wouldn't know it by the way she acts. She had that lean and hungry look and likes to flirt with younger men-like me. She also plays with knives. But she's a pretty good cook. She made me a super breakfast, and with a little food in me I had changed my perspective on things and was ready to make up with Master Taro.
But before I could all Hell broke loose.
A police tank lumbered into the clearing and started shooting at everything in sight. It blew up Master Taro's tent (with him still in it, I guess) and then started taking pot shots at me. It chased me into the woods and up a tree, where I met a Tengu.
Actually, I never took tengu for real. I thought they were just something out of manga and anime, but here was one, as big as life, standing on the same branch as me. Or as small as life, I should say, because he was only about the size of a large crow, feathers and all. He introduced himself as Jaki Amano, and explained that he had been a sort of low-class Manzai comedian who became a Tengu after he died, because¬Öwell¬Öthat's what happens to Manzai comedians after they die.
As soon as the coast was clear, we climbed down out of the tree, and he took me to a cave where his Tengu pals were having a drinking party. I joined in and got pretty well plastered, but I left after they pissed me off by playing a dirty trick on me. After that, I just sort of wandered around in the woods until it got dark, crazy drunk and lost. I wasn't thinking straight at all when I stumbled upon that little shack by the riverside-that very same shack where I'd had that same horrible misadventure with Miss Kuchisake. Master Taro and I had thought about burning it down afterwards, but we didn't have any matches and just never got around to it.
But I was too drunk to remember that this was an evil place that I should stay away from. All it represented to me was a place to crash where I could sleep it off until morning. So, like a dumbass, I stumbled right in.
It was dark in there, of course, except for the faint glow coming off those curlicue things on the walls, but it was enough light to show me that I wasn't alone. Someone else was already there.
A cat woman-a nekomimi-was kneeling in one corner, and she wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing, except for a hat. But she wasn't actually naked, either; because she was covered from head to toe in white fur. I'd never seen anything like that, although some of the tom cats in gym class at school came pretty close.
I think I made some kind of drunken apology for barging in on her like I did and introduced myself, but she made no replied. She didn't even turn her head to look at me. She just sat there, frozen in that position like a statue, and I was beginning to wonder if maybe that was in fact what she was. To make sure, I went over to her and put out my hand to touch her, and that's when everything went blank, like in some cheap detective story.
When I came to, I was lying on a table and had a lump on the back of my head that throbbed painfully. My arms and legs were strapped down, and I didn't seem to be in that hut anymore. The place I found myself in now resembled a doctor's office or maybe a mad scientist's lair and sitting in a high chair was a little old, dried-up cat man who was, no doubt, the mad scientist, himself. Kneeling at his feet was the cat lady; only now her hat was off, and I could see that there was a shaved spot on her head that had a rubber tube stuck in it. The other end of the tube was in the cat man's hand, and he sucked on it from time to time, just like he was drinking ice tea.
It was a little creepy.
He started spouting a lot of science stuff I didn't understand, but what it came down to was that he intended to stick a tube just like the one in the cat woman's in my head, too. So saying, he jumped off his chair and walked out of my range of vision. The next thing I heard was the sound of a buzz saw starting up. It looked like this was the end of the short, happy life of Chinpo Tanuki, and I'm not too proud to say that I wet my pants.
But then there was this loud noise-like a door bursting open-followed by general pandemonium.
I heard someone shout: "You!" and a woman screamed. The buzz saw noise ceased, followed by the sound of something heavy hitting the floor. Then there were a bunch of inarticulate growls and hisses, accompanied by the sounds of scuffling. I heard someone say: "No Rex! Don't kill him. We want him alive. Down boy!" I tried to turn my head around to see what was going on, but I couldn't manage it.
Just then a woman rushed past me and over to where the cat lady was and bent down and hugged her.
"Oh, CeMell," she said. "Are you still alive? CeMell!" she said, shaking her.
The cat lady didn't respond at all. She just sat there, stony-eyed, but the other woman kept shaking her.
"CeMell! CeMell! Say something!"
Eventually, the cat lady turned her head, staring blankly at the other woman, but then a light of recognition slowly appeared in her eyes.
"K¬ÖKokoro?" she said.
The other woman hugged the cat lady fiercely and there were tears in her eyes. The cat lady started to say something, but the other woman stopped her.
"No, don't try to speak. Save your energy. But take deep breaths Oh, God, what's been done to you?"
The tube in the cat lady's head was dripping a clear liquid. The other woman gasped when she noticed it and quickly tied a knot in the end of the tube to contain it. "Do you think you can stand," she asked. The cat lady nodded, and they got up together-the other woman holding on to the cat lady to steady her.
"All this time I thought you were dead, CeMell," she said.
"I, too, feared for you," the cat lady said in a faint voice. "They were lying in wait for me as soon as I re-entered the tunnel. They must have known we were there all the time. That woman is strangely prescient."
"You mean the one in the mask?" the other woman replied. "Oh, God, CeMell, she showed me your tail!"
"The loss makes me sad," the cat woman replied.
The other woman hugged her again and started crying louder than before.
It was a heartwarming display, but I was in need of assistance myself. I started struggling with my bonds, but I couldn't get loose.
"Yuki?" Someone said.
Suddenly, a figure loomed over me. It was Rex.
But¬ÖYuki? I know we look alike, but come on. It must have been the dim light. In any event, he quickly corrected himself.
"Chinpo?" He looked surprised, and well he might. I was surprised to see him, too. What are you doing there? Why aren't you still in jail where I left you?" he asked.
"It's a long story," I replied. "Rex, Yuki's in danger. We've got to save her."
"Right," he replied. "She was kidnapped by the nurse from your school."
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"It's a long story," he replied. "Come let's get you out of these straps."
I sat up and stretched my sore muscles. You think it's fun lying on a flat board for a long time?
"I know where they are-sort of," I said. "Up on Himeda Ridge somewhere."
"I know," Rex replied.
"How come?" I asked.
"Where do you think you are," he said, giving me a funny look.
“I dunno,” I replied, looking around. “Looks like a scene in one of those Zombie Cop movies.”
“Yes, I suppose it does,” he replied, looking around. “How did you get here?”
“I was lost in the woods. I was confused and¬Öuh¬Ödisoriented.” I didn’t want to admit that I was drunk. “I stumbled into this little shack by the river and somebody conked me on the head. When I woke up, I was on this table and some weird little old dude was starting to cut me open when you showed up.”
“Yes, well I think we took care of him.” He seemed to be gloating. “Are you aware that you are on Himeda Ridge? At the base of the mountain, to be precise?”
I jumped off the table.
“No! How long have I been out?”
He shrugged his shoulders. We’ve only arrived quite recently ourselves, and considering the distance between here and Moriyoh, there doesn’t seem to have been enough time. I feel that we are dealing with conditions here that are beyond our ken."
“No shit. Uh, what does ken mean?”
“Perhaps I should fill you in.”
Then he told me how it was that Yuki had been snatched by Nanjou’s gang from school, who were somehow connected with Miss Kuchisake."
“How,” I asked.
“She was posing as your school’s nurse. Did you never suspect?”
“Must have been after I dropped out,” I replied.
She had somehow survived after Master Taro chopped off her head and threw it in the river? And then went out and found a job in the public sector? Do thousand year old undying monsters do stuff like that? Well, now that I think about some of the teachers I’ve had, maybe they do.
Anyway, he had traced them to this place on Himeda Ridge called the Chateau-a hotel or something-which, I think, was the same as the castle Master Taro had told me about in his tent. Rex was sure Yuki had been secreted somewhere in the hotel. But he tore the place apart without finding her.
“Then we discovered a woman in one of the rooms, who told us about an outbuilding on the grounds-this building you’re in. I was certain at that point that was were Yuki was being hidden, and Miss Komegura was kind enough to be our guide. But here we find you, instead of Yuki, so we’re no better off than we were before.”
Well, I was better off, so doesn’t that count for something?
Wait a minute. Komegura? Why does that name ring a bell?
The woman who had been fussing with the cat lady turned her head at the sound of her name.
“I didn’t want to come back here,” she said. “You made me come.”
Up till now, I had only seen her back or in profile and in dim light. But now that I had a clear look at her, I recognized who she was and shuddered.
“Rex,” I said, pointing at her. “That’s Nurse Komegura. The maniac who slaughtered the whole of class 3-B at JAST and danced naked on top of a pile of their dismembered bodies.”
For some reason, she looked insulted after I’d said that.
“Now, Chinpo,” Rex replied. “Don’t be rude. Miss Komegura may be the victim of some rather exaggerated stories, I fear. Whatever her transgressions, at present she is our ally.”
“Oh, well in that case, I’m sorry I called you a maniac, Miss Komegura,” I said, bowing.
She folded her arms across her chest and looked at me piercingly."
“You’re Chinpo Tanuki, the skirt-flipper, aren’t you? You’ve soiled your pants by the way.”
Eek!
I tried to hide the stain with my hands.
“Kokoro!” the cat woman called out, grabbing hold of Miss Komegura. She didn’t look so good. She looked like she was going to faint.
“CeMell! What wrong?” Miss Komegura replied.
“I feel unwell,” the cat woman replied unsteadily.
“Here, maybe you should lie down,” Miss Komegura replied.
She guided the cat woman over to the table I’d been lying on and gave me a look. I hastily gave her a hand and together we lifted the cat woman up and set her down on the table. Miss Komegura felt her forehead and did a bunch of nurse-type stuff to her."
“How do you feel now,” she asked.
“A little better,” the cat woman replied.
Until now, I hadn’t had a good look at CeMell, either-might as well start using her name. But now that she was up close and laid out before my eyes, so to speak. I could see that she was really very pretty. She was all covered in fur, of course, but that just added to her appearance. I couldn’t help noticing the two pink nipples that jutted out of the fur on her chest or the fact that the fur surrounding her crotch was slightly darker than the rest.
“Stop staring, Chinpo,” Rex said, slapping me on the head. “Hello, Singer,” he said, looking down at her. “Looks like you got in deep this time.” He didn’t sound too friendly.
“Ah, Rex,” she said, turning her gaze to him. She wore an unfathomable expression on her face. “Long time, no¬Ö” She broke out into a spasm of coughing before she could finish, but that didn’t seem to make Rex any more sympathetic.
“And it seems you involved a civilian in your schemes again.”
“A¬Öas did you,” she replied weakly.
“That’s different.”
I think they were both talking about Miss Komegura, who turned her attention from CeMell and addressed Rex.
“Do you two know each other?” she asked.
“More than I would like,” Rex replied.
“Why do you call her Singer? Isn’t her name CeMell?”
“Isn’t it obvious? You’ve heard her voice.”
I should point out her that she did have a very musical voice, even in her weakness.
“That’s who she is,” Rex continued. “Codename Singer of the Franco-Russian Army. Didn’t you know?”
“Frussia?” Miss Komegura replied. “Not Infant Island?”
“Well, maybe originally,” Rex said. “But who knows. CeMell is as good a name as any when you come right down to it, eh Singer?”
“But this talk about involving me in some scheme, was that true, CeMell?”
“I’m sorry, Kokoro,” CeMell replied. “But you made it easy for me. You were just as curious about the House of Pain as I was. That nail file of yours would never have worked. I tried to break in many times myself, before I realized that the only way was to use the key that Sugimoto kept on her person. The only way to get it was by giving her what she wanted. I have too many scruples for that, but I knew you did not. That’s why I put the idea in your head. You certainly took a long time going about it though. I waited outside her room for hours, and couldn’t help but hear the noises coming from within.”
That certainly was a long-winded speech coming from someone in CeMell’s condition, but it made Miss Komegura really angry.
"“Whaa¬Ö” she exclaimed, her face turning bright red. “It wasn’t like that at all. How could you do it to me? I thought you were my friend.”
I had a big grin on my face, but Rex slapped me on the head again.
“Don’t be upset, madam,” he said. “You’re not the first person Singer has ever used. She is a spy, after all.”
“Secret agent,” CeMell said.
“Who gives a damn?” Miss Komegura said. She was very angry.
“Hey, Rex,” said a voice coming from the front of the room. “I think we got a problem here.”
I looked in that direction and saw that the little old cat man was lying in a corner. He looked tuckered out and his face was awfully grey. His arms and legs were tied up with pieces of rubber hose and standing over him was another dog man-like Rex, but pint-sized. When he saw that I was looking at him, he smiled and said: “Hi, I’m Corgi. Are you Yuki?”
I emphatically shook my head.
“What seems to be the problem?” Rex asked.
“I think you killed him. There’s no heartbeat, no breath. He sure put up a fight for such an old dude. You were too rough on him. Now we’re both in trouble. Ms. West wanted this cat alive.”
“That doesn’t concern me at all,” Rex replied, shrugging. “Good riddance I say.”
“Damn, boy, are you rabid or something?”
“Who was he?” I asked.
“Beast Dom,” Rex replied. “The leader of the Meow Meow.” There was acid on his tongue.
“What’s the Meow Meow?” I asked.
"Ye gods," Rex replied. "Don't they teach anything in schools these days?"
“We teach,” Miss Komegura said. "But students don’t learn.
“The Meow Meow was the extremist movement that nearly brought down the Meowtis Empire eighteen years ago. Corgi and I both fought them-a lot of good it did us. Because they appear to have resurfaced here in Japan.”
“And among the refugees who fled the war in the first place,” Corgi added. “That’s ironic.”
“But if you killed their leader, doesn’t that’s mean the end of them as well?” I asked.
“I wish that were true,” Rex replied. “But I doubt things are that simple. We believe there may be other actors involved.”
“Miss Kuchisake?” I said.
“What?” Rex asked.
“Master Taro told me she had an army of demons.”
“Well, that certainly describes them. They’re mindlessly aggressive for the most part-true jungle cats. But Beast Dom knew how to control them. If he passed that knowledge on to her, it could compound our problem.”
“Especially if she still has Yuki,” I said.
A dark cloud seemed to settle down over all of us, and I know we were all thinking that it might already be too late for Yuki.
Suddenly CeMell, who was still lying on the table, started thrashing around. Miss Komegura was holding on to her, trying to keep her still.
“Rex,” she said. “She’s going into shock. We have to do something!”
“This place looks like a doctor’s office,” I said, looking around. “Isn’t there something you can give her?”
“No! All I can do is make her comfortable and keep her warm,” she replied helplessly. “We’ve got to get her back to the Chateau.”
“One side,” Corgi said, walking over to the table and pulling a hypodermic needle out of his coat pocket. “To think I would ever try to save Singer,” he said and jabbed the needle into CeMell’s arm.
“Wait!” Miss Komegura said, a little too late. "What is that?
“Just a little sedative,” Corgi replied. “Sodium pentothal.”
“Truth serum?” Miss Komegura asked.
Corgi shrugged. “Yeah. Too bad we don’t have time to pump her. I bet Singer has some real hot secrets in her.”
“I wouldn’t believe a word she said, even under the influence of drugs,” Rex said.
“Yeah,” Corgi replied, nodding his head.
“Are you a medical professional?” Miss Komegura asked skeptically.
“No, but I shoot up people all the time,” Corgi replied. “Trust me.”
By this time, CeMell had ceased thrashing around, and was lying on the table, breathing normally-practically asleep.
“There’s a good kitty,” Corgi said, patting CeMell on the head. “See,” he said, turning to Miss Komegura and smiling broadly.
She looked doubtful, but didn’t make any response.
“Right then,” Rex said. “I say it’s time we all got back to the Chateau. Chinpo, you’re a strapping lad. You can carry Singer.”
“Me?” I replied. “But what if I drop her?”
“Then just pick her back up again.”
You know, he didn’t sound much like the urbane and chivalrous Rex that I’d come to know. But I was afraid he’d bite me if I said anything, so I just scooped CeMell up. She felt as light as a baby in my arms. I guess all that working out with Master Taro had given me some muscles. Still, I hoped we didn’t have to go very far.
“What do you want to do with the dearly departed Beast?” Corgi asked. “I trussed him up good for portability. We could stuff him in the trunk of the car.”
“Do you want to carry him?” Rex asked.
“Huh? No way,” Corgi replied.
“Neither do I,” Rex said. “We will just have to leave him here until we can come back and collect him later.” He paused, and looked thoughtfully at the body. “You’re sure he’s dead?”
“As a door nail,” Corgi replied. “Why? Are you afraid he might come back to life?”
“It seems to have happened once before. Come, let’s go.”
So we all left. Rex led the way, and I was beside him, carrying CeMell. Corgi and Miss Komegura were behind us. He was talking to her, and by the conversation, it was obvious he was trying to hit on her. I sort of wished him luck.
Ahead of us was a long passageway that sloped upwards.
Before we reached it, however, Miss Komegura went over to the wall directly to the right of us and touched it.
“Anything wrong, madam?” Rex asked.
“Well, no. I guess not,” she replied. “It’s just that when I came here the first time, this wall was here-just like it is now. But when I left there was an open passageway here that led through a maze of tunnels and finally to a large cavern full of dark shapes. And now that I think of it-he was there, too.”
“Who, me?” Corgi asked.
“No, that cat man back there. The one you call Beast Dom. He was there in that cavern. Only he looked frozen, or like some kind of carved idol. I was going to have a closer look, but CeMell grabbed me and carried me down a passageway that led out into the woods. But now it’s a wall again. Do you think there’s a secret lever or something that opens it up?”
“Could be,” Rex replied. “We can investigate it later.”
“You mean you can investigate it later,” She said. “Because I’m not coming back.”
When we got out into the open, we were in a garden that was dominated by a giant sakura tree and beyond that was a large building that I guessed was the Chateau-in the darkness it looked like Dracula’s castle. A full moon hung in the sky and a light shone in one of the upper windows.
“You’re not really a teacher, are you, Rex?” I said as we approached the building.
“No, I’m not,” he replied.
“Are you a spy?”
“A secret agent,” he said.
“What’s the difference?”
He sighed, thought for a while, and replied: “I guess there is none.”
The air around him seemed troubled, so I asked him what was bothering him.
“Everything,” he replied. “I came to Japan in the first place to investigate this outbreak of Meow Meow with the question in my mind of whether he was still alive-which clearly seemed impossible. Then I had to deal with you in jail and Yuki’s abduction. On top of that, one of Yuki’s friends just happens to be Beast Dom’s granddaughter.”
“You mean Eri.”
He nodded.
“I follow Yuki’s trail to this place and, as a consequence, discover the very man I was hunting. I could smell him even before we entered that room. It was a smell I hadn’t known for eighteen years, but I never forget a smell. And on top of everything, it just so happens that you and Singer are involved in this affair as well.”
“Does seem like an awful lot of coincidences, doesn’t it?” I said.
“I don’t believe in coincidences,” he replied.
As we entered the building, Rex remarked that we would probably be met by a lady named Mrs. Norris and some of the staff, if they were still up. Actually, we were met by two men in a large room that resembled a Viking beer hall.
One of them was a skinny guy with thinning hair-a stereotypical salary man. The other was fat and, despite being obviously Japanese, had foreignness about him.
“Ah¬Öwelcome back, everyone,” he said enthusiastically, spreading his arms wide. “Madre de Dios! Is that my old amigo, Rex?”
“Jose Ecuador?” Rex replied. “You’re involved in this business, too? Why am I not surprised? The last time I saw you¬Öamigo¬Öyou put six slugs in me.”
“Ha ha, water under the bridge, my friend; water under the bridge.” His belly shook when he laughed. “Well, it’s a good thing I missed, no? Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to now introduce you to out hostess.”
He stepped aside just as a woman appeared behind him. She was dressed in a kimono and wore a surgical mask across her face.
“Hello, everybody,” Miss Kuchisake said.
Shit!
