The two women came up with a concept for “Our first times,” and presented it as a two-level game, one level for Kelley’s experience and the other for Robinson’s. They imagined a series of mini games that could be played on Nintendo’s Wii, or possibly on Apple’s iPhone.
Kelley began by explaining that her game would commence with the player having to pick an outfit for a date that was intended to conclude with their deflowering. It would have to be the least complicated outfit possible, she said, nothing with zippers that get stuck, or too many buttons or ties.
Then, there would be a mini game in which players would have to shave their legs, making especially sure not to miss the all-important spot “by the knees.” Next up, dinner, and making sure to remove all the garlic from the meals, something the main character–clearly a female, since the game was presented from a woman’s perspective–would have to do because of the general cluelessness of the boyfriend in question.
The next mini game would revolve around choosing the proper mood music from a selection of LPs–yes, records, since the game would be set in the timeframe of Kelley’s first time. And clearly, she said, Miles Davis would have to be the choice.
The penultimate mini game would task the player with “not falling off the top bunk” in a college dorm room," while the final task would involve flicking off the smirking roommate.
The Robinson level also involved a series of mini games that commenced with “driving home from ultimate-Frisbee practice” and setting the radio station in a car–perhaps using the Wiimote dial, she said–to anything except country music. Next would be a stop at a drug store to buy a brand of condoms that doesn’t terrify you, and then going “back to his place,” and grappling with adjusting the tracking on his “antiquated” VCR.
Being a game concept presented from the woman’s perspective, the next mini game would revolve around “making the first move. Poor guy.”
And then, afterward, calling the best friend to tell the tale.
“But you have to be careful,” Robinson said, “because she’s next to mom and grandma on the speed dial.”