Not calling myself an online dating professional – not anywhere of a long shot – but I was doing some experimentation because of how much a friend of mine was bitching about how it sucked. Some random things I picked up after 12 weeks of fucking around. (pun!) Yes, I am aware that online dating is an egotistic cluster fuck of disaster, but it was a rather enlightening social experiment. Share your own if you have any.
SPECIAL NOTE TO THE LADIES: Not gonna lie to you – pretty sure guys are looking at your profile pics, then reading your profile. More often than not, they’re reading your profile to find something to hook for a reply. Looks are what matter. It’s sad but true. 
Now the following are for the guys…
#1: You know how some women complain that men only go after those who are slim with huge tits? Guess what. There’s some hypocrisy. I initially created a profile without using any pics of me shirtless: all of them were loose long sleeves and pants, but I made sure to include a few full body shots to show I wasn’t overweight. Got very, very few bites from girls who were average or better looking. Updated my profile with pictures showing me from my much more toned military days. Holy fuck what a difference!!! :roll:
#2: The more you describe yourself in your profile or that initial message, the more you screw yourself. If a girl hits you up, she’s most likely hooked in by your looks. You can only fuck it up from there. Being mysterious is better than being open. There’s no need to lie… but there’s no need to reveal quirks you think will make her see you as cute and adorable – because they won’t.
#3: Asshole observation – if a girl has fat arms, she’s 9 out of 10 sure to be overweight. Use this to your advantage for pics that only show above the waist.
#4: Not all girls who only show head shots are overweight. There are some EXCEPTIONALLY BEAUTIFUL women who don’t want to show their bodies, because they rightfully know the vast majority of guys will only want to tap that goddess looking ass. This being said? The odds of her being one of them is like winning the fucking lottery. Asshole observation – it’s far, FAR more likely she’s overweight.
#5: Too much intellect is an intimidating turn off. The cuties will laugh you off as being a nerd, despite not bringing up true geekdom like being a Star Wars fan or whatever. So just because you know Ekpyrotic Theory or like discussing Brentano’s Intentionality, doesn’t mean she should ever learn of that.
#6: Average looking geek girls (to say nothing of the hot smoking ones) do not hookup with average looking geek guys. Yea, she might claim to be into WoW or anime, but that doesn’t mean she’ll give you the time of day if you mention it to her. There were about a half dozen nerd girls I tried using the “common interest” ploy, with my pre-showing off the abs profile. NONE REPLIED. Got better results for being a toned mysterious guy who world traveled.
#7: Showing off you have money (i.e. mentioning you own a house; showing pics driving your Corvette Stingray) is generally a VERY bad idea. The kind of girls you rope in are probably NOT the kind you want to have around for long.
#8: Just because girls say they’re willing to consider interracial dating, doesn’t mean they will. Majority I got anywhere with, were the same race as me. We’ve still got a long way to go as a society…
#9: Asshole observation – the kind of girls most consider ugly or overweight, are much more honest and upfront (that they’ve the courage to post a profile that doesn’t hide it is commendable). Also they’re a LOT easier to hook… and MUCH more forgiving if you fuck things up during the date.
#10: Flaking is the norm. Don’t worry too much if it happens. I’m almost certain it’s mostly because they can’t keep up whatever lie they’ve created if you meet them in person: be it something like their actual physical looks, or real personality once face-to-face conversations happen.
#11: If a chick sounds high maintenance, or you have a gut feeling about it, she’s fucking high maintenance.
#12: Don’t bother doing the fancy restaurant thing as a first date. TOTAL WASTE OF FUCKING MONEY. Plus might send the wrong signal (see #7 above). Using a nice cafÈ for drinking coffee is much betterÖ and a wallet saving loss if the meeting ends up a failure.
#13: Not matter what those beautiful women say about seeking honesty and intellect in a man, your looks are what matter. If you look 9001% nerd and can’t do anything about it, you’re pretty much fucked. Face it… they’re in the top 10% – why wouldn’t they want the 10% too?
#14: If you’ve got an average looking face, really work on getting a celebrity buff body as possible… then be sure to show it. Having a skinny or below average body is a major handicap. It’s a pain in the ass and time consuming: but if you wanna be in the game, you gotta play the game.
#15: To any women who want to label me a misogynist for coming to these conclusions, please try this first: make an account using pictures of an average looking guy (no toned chest or stomach; that not average) and see the kind of results you get. Then try it again as a nerdish (but not necessarily ugly) guy. Go after what men consider average (stomach doesn’t have to be toned; but no belly rolls). It’s pretty brutal. My sister was shocked at the results when I had her try it for a week.
My success rate to just get a reply to my first message as a truthful nerd (hidden body, ordinary t-shirt, etc) was 0%. ZERO FUCKING PERCENT!!! This was for average or better looking girls. I got lots of success with overweight ones. As the less truthful mysterious guy with a toned bod and fashionable dress? Somewhere around 1 out of 3. Success rate drops off more in getting a second and third reply once the back and forth begun, but really I was seeing how hard it was to get the first. I never won over any of the super hot, OMG SHE REMINDS ME I’M A MAN, type of girls… eventually ran out of interest to try cracking that riddle.
