THE NEW TEACHER
He had wavy, blond hair and the most beautiful soft brown eyes that Yuki had even seen.
He also had long ears and a furry tail.
Yuki was just a little surprised by that.
Not because people with ears and tails were all that uncommon in Moriyoh. After all, her friend, Eri, had ears and a tail, too, but Eri was a cat person. By contrast, this stranger who was staring down at her now (she quickly checked her skirt to see if her panties were showing), was a dog.
Years ago, when she was little, her parents had taken her and her brother, Chinpo, on a visit to Tokyo’s Inumura (or Dog Village), the biggest enclave of dog people in all of Japan. At the time, her mother had told her that they were mostly refugees from the Meow Meow uprisings.
This bit of information didn’t mean anything to Yuki then, and meant even less to her now. Alas, Yuki was no student of history.
Even so, she had found everything about that visit exciting.
All the sights and sounds of Inu Village thrilled her. The shops with their fancy, rhinestone studded collars dazzled her. And best of all was the way the people wagged their tails when they greeted you.
She had found the dog food quite tasty, as well.
Another item that she vividly recalled from that visit was witnessing a performance of the Tokyo Metropolitan Kei-Nine Marching Band and Precision Drill Team. The marchers had looked so smart in their brightly decorated uniforms that Yuki had instantly formed a passion for fancy clothes. Her mother told her that most of the dog refugees from Meowtis were either on the police force or fire department, and many of the others had gravitated to helping professions, such as medicine or domestic service.
That was years ago, and Yuki hadn’t seen another dog person, until now.
“Dreadfully sorry, my dear,” he said. “Lost in my thoughts, you know. Wasn’t using the old peepers. Here, let me elevate you from that undignified position.”
He held out his hand, and Yuki let him take hers.
His grasp was strong, but gentle, and he raised her to her feet with a smooth, flowing motion that reminded her of dancing.
“There, all better now?” he asked as she brushed off her uniform. “No sprains or broken bones, wot? We were like ships that passed in the night, except we crashed into each other, eh?”
Yuki smiled shyly and curled a strand of hair around her finger. She noticed that he was dressed in an expensive-looking dark grey suit (Armani? Brioni? Yuki had an eye for labels) that fit his trim figure like a glove.
“I say, we haven’t been properly introduced, have we. Under the circumstances, I suppose we’ll have to introduce ourselves. Ladies first, eh?”
“Oh? I-I’m¬Öuh,” She’d forgotten her own name!
How ridiculous," she thought. Get a grip, Yuki.
“I’m Tanuki Yuki,” she said, pulling herself together and bowing. “Hajimemashite yoroshiku. Namae wa?”
“Bond. James Bond.” He replied.
“Eeh?”
“No, not really,” he said, smiling a smile that was so charming that Yuki could have readily believed that he was an International Man of Mystery.
“I’ve always wanted to say that,” he said. “And now I have. At your expense, though, I’m afraid. My real name is Rex.”
“Nice to meet you, Rex. Uh, Rex what?”
“Just Rex,” he replied. “Son of White Fang and Black Tooth. We in the dog world don’t have family names, you see. The reason for that, I’m afraid, would make rather indelicate conversation for an innocent and refined young lady, such as yourself.”
Yuki blushed. She didn’t think of herself as all that innocent or refined, but didn’t feel like setting him straight.
“Um¬Öwell, Rex-san, what are you doing here at JAST? You don’t look like a student.”
“Quite. I was at Eton once, and many there said I didn’t look like a student, either. I got booted out, you know, ha ha. Actually, I was looking for the Principal’s office. Have you seen it?”
“Principal Payne’s office? That’s on the ground floor. This is the fourth floor.”
“The fourth floor, you say? Not the first? My, my, how did I get all the way up here? A bit of the old absentmindedness, I reckon. I wonder, Tanaka-chan, if you could point me the way?”
Even to Yuki his explanation sounded a little weak. She hoped he wasn’t some kind of dog-pervert, sniffing around the girl’s bathroom or anything like that. But how could anyone so handsome be a pervert?
“I can take you there, if you’d like,” she offered.
He smiled that wonderful smile again.
“That would be jolly! Very well then, lead on Mac Duff.”
“Let’s take the stairs,” she said.
Yuki took Rex by a very circuitous path to the first floor.
She was reluctant to part with his company right away, and she hoped it would do her reputation some good to be seen with this handsome stranger by as many people as possible.
She hoped Ryo saw.
Later that evening.
Yuki was in the basement room in her house that she’d turned into her workshop, working on a sewing project with her friend, Eri, who was taking a rare night off from Brant. They had found a pattern in a magazine for a loli-goth dress that Yuki liked. It was all black and white, with a cute little bustier that was crisscrossed with red ribbons.
Eri was measuring out a piece of black cotton, and Yuki was telling her about her adventure in the girl’s bathroom on the fourth floor.
“Why did they think you were Hanako?” Eri asked.
“Who knows?” Yuki shrugged. “I guess that maybe they were expecting to see Hanako, since they’d already been talking about her. People see what they want to see in these situations, you know.”
Eri nodded to show agreement, but refrained from mentioning to Yuki that she was no exception.
“But Nanjou should have recognized you. Why didn’t she?”
“Well,” Yuki replied. “You know how run down that bathroom is. There’s just that one light over the mirror by the sink, so the rest of the room is pretty dark; especially in the stalls. My guess is that all they saw of me was a figure crouching in the dark, and their imaginations filled in the rest. You know, it sort of gave me the willies, too, when I realized I was in Hanako’s stall. It’s so spooky in that bathroom that it’s no wonder people avoid it.”
“Except for secret meetings, right?”
“Right. Tairano Masakado Rebellion.”
That was the name of the secret sex club at JAST that their friend, Kimochi, had hinted at one time, the one that had been run by the school’s ex-Nurse, Miss Komegura.
“That’s a weird name for a club,” Eri said. She picked up the section of cloth she’d been working on and gave it a shake. “Why do you think they call it that?”
“What do you want them to call it, Sluts Anonymous?” Yuki replied. "Actually, that’s easy. The kanji for “rebellion” is the same one used for the word “orgy.”
“How do you know what the kanji for “orgy” is?” Eri asked, and both of them broke into a giggling fit.
“By the way,” Eri said, after they’d settled down. “Did you see the news about Miss Komegura last night?”
“Yeah, I saw that,” Yuki replied. “They say she’s a mad dog killer who killed a guy and chopped him to pieces.”
“I heard it was four guys.” Eri said.
“Where’d you hear that?” Yuki asked.
“Um, yeah,” Eri replied. “Where did I hear that? Oh! Brant told me. Only he said she didn’t kill them.”
“Well, how would he know that?” Yuki asked. She suddenly remembered that Brant, just like Ryo before him, was pretty friendly with the old witch for a time. She wondered¬Ö
But Eri changed the subject before Yuki could form her next question.
“By the way, who was that cute guy you were parading around the school with yesterday?”
“He’s the new English Literature teacher,” Yuki replied.
"What would a dog know about English Literature? Eri asked.
“He was raised in England.”
“Oh?”
“Uh huh. He was adopted by an Englishwoman named Woodhill when he was just a pup and raised on her estate, which he inherited. He’s traveled all over the world, fought in wars, climbed mountains, scuba-dived, raced cars and stuff like that. And¬Öand¬Ö”
Yuki’s face turned crimson. She got all starry-eyed and hugged herself.
“Uh¬ÖEri?” she said
“Yeah?” Eri replied.
“Do you believe in love at first sight?”
Eri put down her scissors and looked at her friend.
“Oh, Yuki! Don’t even think such things. You know teacher-student romances are forbidden.”
“Yeah, but¬Ö”
Suddenly, Yuki’s brother, Chinpo, stormed into the room.
“Sis, come on upstairs,” he said. “You have got to hear this.”
“What?”
“Come on up, you’ll see.”
He led Yuki upstairs, and Eri came along as well.
The front door to the house was open.
He led them to the genkan (or entry way), where a figure familiar to Yuki stood.
“Sensai!”
It was Rex.
“This guy says he’s going to live here,” Chinpo said.
“Ah, Miss Tanuki,” he said, smiling that breathtaking smile. “It would appear that our passing ships have met again, wot?”
“Sensai?” Yuki said.
“It was all she could say.”
“I detect a certain degree of incredulity on your pert features,” Rex said. “But, to whit, and in brief, what your brother says is true.”
“Here,” he said, pulling an envelope from the inside pocket of his jacket, “is a note from your parents explaining everything.”
He handed it to her.
She tore open the envelope and read the words written on the letter inside.
“They asked me to look after you two while they were away in Europe,” he said.
And that was exactly what the letter (which was authentic) in her hand said.
“Y-you know our parents?” Yuki asked. “But they’ve never mentioned you before.”
"Well, they never mentioned you to me, either, my dear, so that puts us at evens, wouldn’t you say? To tell you the truth, it came as quite a surprise to me as well when they buzzed me up in mid-flight–you might say–and asked me to take care of their children while they were away. It was just fortuitous that I was already coming to Moriyoh on a pedagogical mission, that is, to teach at JAST.
“By the by,” he said, producing another envelope from his pocket, “they also gave me power of attorney and made me your legal guardian for the duration of their stay in Europe.”
Yuki was still too dumbfounded to say anything, and Chinpo was always too witless to say anything of use.
Just then Rex noticed Eri, who was standing next to Yuki.
He smiled at her, but there was a strange light in his eyes.
“I say,” he said. "Your name is Eri, isn’t it?
Eri nodded.
“You probably don’t remember me. You were just a little kitten when I last saw you. I knew your parents; too, when they were alive. I’m sorry they’re no longer with us.”
He sounded genuinely sympathetic.
“Thank you,” Eri’s reply was barely audible.
“Um, Eri-chan?” he said. “You haven’t seen your grandfather lately by any chance, have you?”
“N-no!” Eri replied defensively. “Of course not.”
“That’s good, Eri,” he said. “That’s good.”
Yuki could not help but notice that something very peculiar had passed between Eri and Rex just then.
“Well then,” he said suddenly. "Can anyone help me with my bags? They’re just outside the door.
Later that evening, Yuki was in bed, but couldn’t sleep.
She had a lot of things on her mind.
Sensai had established himself in an upstairs bed room that was never used. Chinpo had helped him settle in and seemed quite happy with this sudden turn of events. Yuki guessed that either the novelty of the situation appealed to him, or else it was some kind of instant male-bonding.
For Yuki, things were a bit more complicated. This wasn’t the relationship she had envisioned for Sensai and herself. How could her parents have gone off and done this to her?
“Such irresponsible parents!” she shouted, and then clapped her hand over her mouth, hoping that no one else in the house had heard her.
Eri had slunk away without any explanation about what it was that passed between her and Sensai, but Yuki sure as shooting wasn’t going to let her get away with that. She vowed to pin her friend to the wall the next time they met and wring some answers out of her.
She felt an intense pang of jealousy toward her friend. She and Sensai had a history (sort of), which she found unbearable.
And how was she going to explain to the snoopy grannies of the neighborhood about her new and unorthodox living arrangement?
She thought about Sensai, upstairs, probably sleeping by now.
How long was he going to be here? Her parents hadn’t left the slightest clue about how long they’d be gone, or even why they’d left.
Such irresponsible parents.
She thought about Sensai.
He’d be living in the same house as her. Sleeping here. Eating here. Taking showers here.
Wild, crazy notions filled her head.
She tried to make them go away, but they kept coming back.
She touched herself.
The next afternoon.
The Dirty Haru was a little back alley bar that was located not too far away from the Moriyoh Metropolitan Police Station.
Its clientele were mostly policemen, and the owner and bartender (who were the same guy) was an ex-policeman. It was a place where cops went when they wanted to say things that they didn’t want to be overheard. People there respected each other’s privacy.
And it’s here that we find Etsuji and Yoshimi, sitting at the bar, drinking their lunch.
“So how are things between you and Narumi going?” Etsuji asked. "Not that I’m prying.
“If I’m thinking what I think you’re thinking,” Yoshimi replied, taking a sip from the pitcher of beer in her hand, “you damn well are prying. But it’s not what you think. We talk now and then, but she’s afraid to go out with me. Thinks it would endanger her life. That’s the trouble with civilians; a few scrapes and they’re traumatized for life.”
She was referring to that New Year’s Eve night a couple of months ago, when Narumi and she had found themselves fighting for their lives against a horde of crazed cat men.
“Yeah, well, Saitama’s still pissed about the way you trashed the Comedy Box. He’d like to hang you up to dry.”
“Fuck him. He’s just a yak. Besides, it was those cat boys who did most of the trashing. Have him take it out of their hides.”
“Hmmm.”
“What?” Yoshimi asked.
“I’m just wondering if you did this on purpose.”
“What?” Yoshimi asked again.
“Well,” Etsuji replied. “Here we’d just about wrapped up the Komegura case, and you go out and bring back a whole other load of shit for us to deal with.”
Yoshimi smiled sweetly.
“It’s what I live for. But look. Hasn’t anyone but me noticed that both cases involve cat men? Specifically Meow Meows, followers of that nut Beast Dom, who caused so much trouble a bunch of years back.”
“Well, we don’t know if that group Komegura sliced up were Meow Meows, too,” Etsuji replied.
“Ockham’s Razor,” Yoshimi replied.
“Hmmm. Yes, of course. But it’s complicated. Back when things in Meowtis got bad, the Moriyoh city fathers decided to take in refugees and what we ended up with were a lot of cat people who were not followers of Beast Dom, maybe. It was a humane gesture, I suppose. But cats are natural predators, you know.”
“Except that these are people who sort of look like cats, not cats,” Yoshimi said. “It kind of bites me when I hear intolerant remarks like that.”
Etsuji laughed.
“This from the girl who says the only good monster is a dead monster?”
“That’s not the same thing, at all.”
“Maybe, maybe not. But when all those cats started appearing in our midst, a lot of us were uneasy. However, we wanted to be tolerant, so a sort of unspoken pact arose. A live and let live sort of thing. But now, if it gets out that the pact has been broken, or that Meow Meow has come back to life here in Moriyoh, well, it would be pure gravy for some ambitious right-wing hack, like Saitama; if he were to get the majority stirred up against the cats–Mass arrests. Detention camps. Cruel stuff like that,” Yoshimi said.
Etsuji shrugged his shoulders, which made the rest of his massive frame shake like jello.
“Well, no one wants it to go that far. That’s why we contacted Interpol and asked them to send out some one to look into it.”
“Wow! Interpol? Really! Those fucks! Useless fatass bureaucrats. Who’re they sending out?”
“Goes by the code name: Tuxedo Rex. We’re supposed to meet him here.”
Yoshimi, who had been in the act of taking another drink, suddenly spewed her drink out all over the counter. She turned, grabbed Etsuji by the collar and said:
“Rex?!”
“Did someone call?”
Yoshimi turned around at the sound of that voice to see a dapper figure standing at the entrance to the bar. She leapt from her seat and flew into the newcomer’s arms.
“Rex! Rex!” she squealed, and for several minutes–longer than necessary for a simple polite greeting–there wasn’t enough room between them to slip a playing card.
“Hey, I’m turning red over here,” Etsuji said. “Get a room, guys.”