The nonsense thread

Visual Novel Community Off Topic
#1

(this thread may end up beign removed by the mods.

ALternatively, it may end up in the junkyeard)

[The point of this thread is nothing but pointless roleplay. I shall begin some nonsense, and likewise, nonsense should occur. Everything is for the sake of nonsense.]

~

Phineas Lucis, enraged by Darkling’s portrayal of Ryo Sasaki in ‘Fugue for a Duet’ as a yakuza man, as well as a murderer (since Phineas himself is a big fan of the great Sasaki), he has thus declared war.

“We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in GameFAQs, we shall fight on the Peach Pricness boards, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the WWW, we shall defend Ryo Sasaki, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight in Animesuki, we shall fight on the blogs, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, FOR RYO SASAKI !!”

He then proceeds to learn a combine technique taught to him by the powers of Ryo Sasaki’s Kyokugen Dojo (an unrevealed additional ending to the DVD edition of Crescendo’s reveals an alertante path for Ryo to save Yuka by doing the “Kyokugen Ougi ! Oraoraora ! MORATTA !!”) and Dan Hibiki’s Saiyko Groove.

He then plans on a new anime known only as Shingetsusan Tsuki-Mai-HiMe-Hi !: The Last Possession, which features O-Zone, Tsuki’s Yusuke, the HiMe’s, the Tohnos and SNK’s Last Blad ein one incoherent juxtpaositon.

FInally, he gets to point, and seeks possible allies to counter Darkling in his private vendetta. He then hunt downs the great Malkavian 13th (who is really the Shadow of Doubt), and Benoit (who is really WWE’s Chris Benoit) He invites more allies.

#2

Enraged by yet another damned wrestler reference, the almighty Benoit draws his photon saber, and challenges Phineas Lucis to a duel… of crazy dance!

#3

When Phineas Lucis finnally tracked down 13th…seeking his aid…13th only shared a fragment of his knowledge…
“If thou would taste the wisdom of the oni, be prepared to salt it with thy blood.”
13th paused to for Phineas lucis’s answer…
…

#4

Suddenly Nargrakhan appeared, in priestly robes of red with gold trim and carrying a steel bound tome.

“Hear me faithless! Hear me pronounce the True and One religion of Twincest! Turn away from thy teachings of one, and accept the Glory of Two. Double, in mirror identical appearance, is the way to happiness. Join me! Seek out thy Twins, to a new land: Twintopia!”

#5

Phineas, a 40 year old British otakun who is a virgin, realised that he was being approached by three PP board members of great pwoer.

(Note… Phineas is not a 40 year old IRL. Rather, Phineas Lucis is based after Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Arthur Denty… with a minor dash of Phileas Fogg.)

To Benoit, he said this:

“My apologies. However, with my mastery of time and space…”

And lo ! With a poof of smoke came… JEDI GANDALF !

“You shall not pass !”

As he said this, the Jedi version of Gandalf unveild not one… but TWO weapons, with the right hand holdign the dual lightsabre, making a total of three blades.

As for a crazy dance…

He then summons… the brothers of Aruceid, the Moldovan Daylgiht Vampire SensationO-ZONE !

“Haiduc, salut…”

And there they came, the daylight vampires of Moldova, the good vampires who drink the blood of animals and are allergic to sunlight, and whoa re the masters of the “Numa numa”.

Now appearing in Shengetsusan Mai-Tsuki-HiMe-Hi !: The Last Posession.

~

To 13th,

“AHHHHHHHHH !!!”

PL starts to scream like a berserker, as he dives into his mental tome of blood magic, and summons forth a sword. He then slits his arm, and the blood falls to the floor.

"THERE ! My blood for salt ! "

~

With jedi Gandalf and O-ZONE ready to challenge Benoit, or get him to join, and the blood offering for 13th, Mr. Lucis decided to check the Hitchiker’s Guiode to the Erogerakushii-scape about Twincest.

“The Hitchiker’s Guide has this to say about twincest. Sexy.”

“What ?!”

“Oh sorry. Longer entry loading…”

'Ah…"

“Mostly sexy.”

“MOSTLY SEXY ?!!”

“That’s right…”

Darn. Thing on all this, Phienas decided that a man of Nargrakhan’s talents would be sueful… but how to get him to join him.

[ 12-12-2006, 09:09 PM: Message edited by: Phineas Lucis ]

#6

Phineas is also thinking of baiting Jinnai with the only copy of the Official Hentai Version of the Galaxy Angels Dating Sim, available only through interdimensional travel through the Infinite Improbability Drive.

“But I’m not sure if Jinnai would like this…”

~

He’s also thinking of getting Paillon to join him with… hmmm…

Should he summon BlackAdder ? Or Maru-tan ?

[ 12-12-2006, 09:11 PM: Message edited by: Phineas Lucis ]

#7

After the “Barter in Blood” has been done…13th yet again only shared fragments of his infinite wisdom… This is what he said…
“Do not reply to force in kind. Turn it aside. Direct it to where it can do no harm.”
And then he added…
“How can we wage war against ourselves?
What happens when the kami of our very souls rise against us? I answer simply: We cannot. We die. I advice against this war…”

And while seeing Nargrakhan…and knowing that Phineas Lucis is in need of an army to wage war… 13th uttered a whisper as a last encouragement for Phineas Lucis…
“Put a spear in a peasant’s hands, and you have an expendable troop. Put a purpose in his heart, and you win a warrior.”

He still advices against this war though…

#8

Phineas privately thinks he could urge 13th to realise that this was an imaginary war in a nonsensical thread, and that he doesn’t really want to track down and hurt Darkling, but rather, to somehow confront him with an almighty army and challenge him… to a joint fan-fic writing effort ont he peach Princess boards.

But… making 13th think that Phineas was a crazy foo’ who wants to track down Darkling sounds more fun.

#9

And in later years, many who were there to witness the events of that day recalled his arrival, and they spoke with reverence of his actions upon that day. And this is what they said:

And lo, verily Darkling didst appear to enlighten Phineas. And thus he spake: “Phineas, thou art mistaken, and thou dost need to read thy websites more carefully when thou art browsing through fanfic. For yea, the scriptures contained within Wolfson’s Den be written by Wolfson himself, the most high, with but one missive contributed by my own most august self.”

Darkling didst then beam most benevolently and shamelessly plug his Kana fanfic project, thusly:

“And those who wish to partake of an online Kana fanfic project wouldst be advised to undertake a pilgrimage here, where the great undertaking known as Kana: WAFFO! has been embarked upon. However, the idea of a more general bishoujo game fanfic is most pleasing to my ears, and thus do I gladly endorse the idea of a Peach Princess fanfic project.”

Those present didst then cover their ears in awe as Darkling vanished into thin air with a mighty kapoof.

#10

Though, according to the Encyclopedia PeachPrincessa Wiki, the far more ruminous alternative to the Guide, the supposed ‘later years’ of Darkling was actually no more than five minutes.

What was also omitted in Darkling’s account was Phineas uttering “Omae wa mou shindeiru”, and pretending that he was going to extend Benoit’s crazy dance duel to him… but what the heck.

Phineas saw the truth in Darkling’s words, and bowed down in respect and apology.

~
And, 5 seconds later… it was revealed that Darkling did not actually disappear, and that the ‘poof’ was just some expensive CGI.

~

The nonsense had not ended just yet.

[ 12-13-2006, 03:03 AM: Message edited by: Phineas Lucis ]

#11

It’s dangerous indeed to be lost in someone else’s thoughts.

“Kyoki, Eater of Minds, Corrupter of Thoughts, Bringer of madness, Lord of Fear. Return, by our blood, and walk again.”
— 13th’s chant for the purpose of summoning

#12

Benoit looks at the two dance warriors, and proclaims: “I challenged thee to a personal duel. Cast aside your puppets, for they are in our way.”

#13

Phineas wished he could also remidn 13th that this was a 100% nonsense thread… but what the heck.

~

“Actually, Benoit, they are four”

For, indeed, O-ZONE is a boyband of 3 Moldovan daylight vampires who ahve the magic abilit to sway their hips sexily while saying “Numa numa yay !”

“But very well Benoit, but theya re not puppets.”

For Jedi Gandalf is a real member of a parallel Star Wars/LotR universe, and the O-ZONE good vampries are from Shingetsusan Mai-Tsuki-HiMe-Hi !: The Last Possesion.

As the four return to their universes, Phineas reaches for… the guide. And his special 24 sided dice of Chaos, each number spawning a random possibility.

“Let’s dance.”

#14

“In a game of conquest…(Well, in this case…dancing…) Who cares about the pawns(A.K.A Puppets…) if the king yet reins…”

13th then reveals his Demon Dice who’s possibilities are dependent on the Mirror Universe… just to counter Phineas Lucis’s 24 sided dice of chaos…

13th hesitated for a moment but then joined into the fray…

~
I’m not just gonna let you guys have all the fun are you? :stuck_out_tongue:

[ 12-14-2006, 09:05 AM: Message edited by: 13th ]

#15

“Very well then !”

~

Phineas hesitates.

Darn it, he thought… what would happen if I summoned Shingetsusan Mai-Tsuki-HiMe-Hi !: The last Possesion ? WOuld the SNK characters be replaced by Capcom ? Would the Zyx game be Shukketsubo instead of Tsuki ? Would the good O-ZONE become bad vampires like Roa ? WOuld the HiMes not be busty enough ?

And what if I summoned Dune Exile ? WOuld it become Vandread Pandora, where Vandread visited Herbert’s alternate Ocean world of Padora ?!!

Phineas is slighty anxious. SUch things may be dangerous. The smurfs would become salo, and Tinkerbell could becoem Saw 3.

#16

Why do you hesitate?..
“Listen to the voice of the dark spirits…”

Follow thy guide… Bring a last wisp of paradise in a fallen world.

“Now…! Show!..me!..Seven!..”

#17

Damn, thought Phineas. 13th’s dark power is very tempting.

Therefpre, top counter it… I must summon something dark with a bad ending…which, by laws of the mirror universe, MUST reflect into something better…

“I SUMMON… SE7EN MONKEYS !!”

ANd lo ! Out comes Morgan Freeman, Brad Pitt and Bruce WIllis in the Award-Winning Se7en Monkeys,w here a time traveller goes back in time to stop a badass serial killer whose assasination of seven men led to the apocalypse, only to end up hnting down the wrong person, and thus, doom himself to witnessing his own death when young, and the catastrophe never being reverted in the first place.

#18

There came a rush, a sudden fire in the the mind. Then the two saw only the sooty fog of madness, heard only the cracking of thier last thoughts burning away.

13th gazed at the 3rd one in the fray…which is Benoit…and uttered…
“You will do the thinking for the both of us!”

After that…13th fell silent…
…

#19

Only problem was… Peter Payne merely woke up from one dream… and walked into another…

…as the literal flames from 13th’s Mind came to meet him…

#20

Hey! What you just said sprung a " ? " in my mind…
“What happens when it is the dream that wakes and the sleeper that fades into memory?”

I think this will be a great addition to this tale… :slight_smile:
Sadly… :frowning: I can’t seem to think of a nonsence story for this one…I really need to think twice… :roll:
And…I might require yon aid again… Feral Souls… (13th bows deeply.)