- In eroge the choices you have to make are like those you have to do everyday in real life.
(I’m glad to hear that professor cherry will be out soon :))
Ohhhh, I’d do it. Definitely.
Behold, the Power of Google; have faith in the Crawling Archiver, and all will be revealed to you 
- Whenever anyone claims to have ‘anemia’, they’re lying or misinformed, because the symptoms are never ever anything actually like anemia’s symptoms. These characters are instead afflicted with the horrible chronic condition deus ex machinosis.
- If her best friend wants you, she wants you both. If she took a vow of chastity, she wants you. If she’s single and she’s a mother, she wants you. If everyone else is normal (except for others who also want you), and she’s supernatural, she wants you.
- The proper way to attract girls is to be as much like a cardboard cutout as possible, except more bland.
I thought that for my first post on this board I would give a few more rules I’ve noticed from my humble collection of games so far.
325. If a female character is older than you, there is a good chance she has problems with her eyesight.
326. If a female character is older than you, there is a good chance she smokes cigarettes.
327. If a female character is older than you, there is a fairly good chance she smokes cigarettes AND has problems with eyesight. (i.e. Crescendo, Snow Sakura)
It’s well known that (in eroge) smoking gives you a bad sight.
And only older people smoke ( what !!! Give a cigarette to a loli ? Have you no shame !!! Have a little respect for young girls damned… You have to be really delicate with lolis… especialy when you have anal sex with them).
328- Given the choice to “touch it” or “Don’t touch it”, both choices will always inevitably lead to touching it anyway.
329- Scenes of running away will always have the girl dragging you along while running towards the screen.
330- When you treat a girl to a meal, she will always milk you until you are flat broke.
331- If the main character runs a business, they never actually run out of money.
332- The main character always seems to get his words out even though he is mute.
333- Pent up “stress” is always painful.
334- Foreplay is always the girl sucking you off before doing anything else.
335- Harem paths generally have them all lining up to show you their goods.
336- No matter what they are wearing, the nipples always seem to stick out.
337- In no cases have the girls ever been “dry”.
328- Given the choice to “touch it” or “Don’t touch it”, both choices will always inevitably lead to touching it anyway.
329- Scenes of running away will always have the girl dragging you along while running towards the screen.
330- When you treat a girl to a meal, she will always milk you until you are flat broke.
331- If the main character runs a business, they never actually run out of money.
332- The main character always seems to get his words out even though he is mute.
333- Pent up “stress” is always painful.
334- Foreplay is always the girl sucking you off before doing anything else.
335- Harem paths generally have them all lining up to show you their goods.
336- No matter what they are wearing, the nipples always seem to stick out.
337- In no cases have the girls ever been “dry”.
338- Any sex scene involving a table generally has either you screwing the girl in an exhibitionist style or her sucking you off under the table.
339- there are still girls for you to screw after death. (if you become a ghost that is)
- Rustic wells SHOULD NOT BE DISTURBED
New additions to #Mirrormoon Eroge Rules:
Eroge rule #174: If you sleep with a girl’s mother, you will invariably have a threesome with her and the daughter.
Eroge rule #175: No one is allowed to climax unless they declare that they are going to immediately beforehand. The exception is that sometimes people come when you put it in for no reason.
Eroge rule #176: The Japanese culture is thousands of years old, but they still haven’t figured out how to make decent shoes. So frequently a girl’s will break, and you’ll either fix it, or carry her.
Eroge rule #177: Eroge H-Scenes are like art. And just like Da Vinci, after you finish a artwork, you often end up “signing” your work.
Eroge rule #178: In Eroge, you’re not racist. Not only that, you’re also not biased by age. Or Species. In fact, you’re not even biased against the dead sometimes.
Eroge rule #179: In Eroge, using doors is optional. Many times, someone will instead choose to commonly use a window, or climb up a balcony in order to enter a room.
Eroge rule #180: In Eroge, whether or not you sleep with a girl is largely a matter of probability. For example, take a coin and flip it in the air while calling heads or tails. The probability you sleep with a girl is roughly equal to the probability the coin lands.
Eroge rule #181: It doesn’t matter if she can fly, or is an Olympic swimmer. In Eroge, a girl will still get a leg cramp, and suddenly float as well as a concrete brick. Meaning you’ll have to save her.
Eroge rule #182: Eroges are well known for being earth friendly. In particular, a girl’s bathing suit clasps are all biodegradable - Meaning they’ll dissolve and come off long in contact with things like 1) Water or 2) Air.
Eroge rule #183: How to Get a Place for Sex: 1) your osananajimi faints on streets, your friend watches over her in a hospital tonight; 2) your dorm manager got caught in the zoo; 3) it’s too late, and the female dorm is locked; 4) “Stay in my room tonight?” “…Okay…”
This rule sure seemed to come up frequently in Snow Sakura…
Hee… Yeah, that was one I actually wrote when I was playing Yuki Zakura, in fact
Yeah, blame Message for that one…
???
veni, widi, veni = I came, I saw, I came…
Eroge Rule #341: If a girl possess physical regenerative power that heal wounds - for example she is a goddesses, vampire, or werewolf - her body will heal injuries such as broken bones, deep cuts, and severe burns… but it will never restore a torn hymen.
Eroge Rule #342: Human DNA is compatible with nearly every species in the Universe. Women can successfully bear the children of aliens, animals, demons, insects, mutants, and Lord knows what else.
Eroge Rule 343
Does it exist or does it not.
- If it’s ever released here, the youngest characters are always 18 years old, which MAY CAUSE PROBLEMS. (A 20 year-old 3rd year high school student? NO)
344 : The girls you can have sex with don’t have friends. They don’t need friends as long as they have you. Friends could distract them from their only purpose in life : be there for you (nevermind if you want her or not).
But if she has a friend, it’s a girl and you can go for her too (friends share everything).
345 : In yuri H-games, in the beginning, making love only means that one of the two girl will do all the work when the other will be the only one to cum.
#346: The shier the girl/woman the more willing she is to be molested in public and no matter how strict her upbringing was/is, she will enjoy it… as long as it is you :mrgreen:
#347: girls don’t mind you cheating on them, as long as they can join-in :twisted:
O.O Wow that was Alot. i Don’t think I saw This one.
No matter How Big/Thick/Long…etc and Object is it can always Fit inside Obviously to Small Openings in a Human Body.