http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2010/10/3 … questions/
honestly, how desperate do you have to be get like this? 
Poor girl.
Man, what a nasty situation. I can kind of sympathize with the guy, especially with the introspection I’ve been doing since I turned 30 last month. I also sympathize with the woman. After all, the fact that he is a customer might be preventing her from turning the guy down. As far as I can see, the only way this is going to end is if/when she stops working as a “maid”. I’m wondering if that guy has almost single-handedly kept that woman employed there.
Poor girl? She is obviously stringing him along for the gifts he is giving her - over five years he’s bought her 60 grand in gifts just hoping she’ll return his affection. This girl deserves no one’s sympathy.
The guy needs counseling, of that there can be no doubt. He is so lonely and pathetic he believes anyone who shows him kindness is interested in him; and he is so convinced no one else ever could be that he’s willing to spend his entire life savings pursuing the possibility. This poor guy has absolutely zero self esteem. That said, he also has an unhealthy manner of approaching relationships. He obviously thinks a person is something he can invest in and ultimately purchase. I have no doubt that he would be incredibly dangerous to date - this is rapist material here. (or attempted rapist - he lacks confidence, so if a woman were persistent enough in her struggles and ordering him to get away he would probably loose his nerve … then again, he obviously believes he’s already at the point of no return, so it’s possible he’d not give up for that reason alone)
I think Lurker is right - this will end tragically. At the very least the man will burrow himself into a debt he can never get out of, then commit suicide. Personally, I think, he if murders the girl in the process she deserves it. Nothing is forcing her to accept these gifts and string the more man along - nothing but greed - and she obviously doesn’t care if she destroys the man in the process.
I wish I could speak to the man - offer him some professional advice on the matter - help him move on. But, he’d never listen and resent anyone who tried to help him.
My guess is that the whole case was a troll.
If I didn’t know that there are people this pathetic in the world - and classically in Japan - I’d agree. Saddly, people like this do exist.
There’s a sucker born every minute. Just ask our “friends” in Nigeria.
I have no trouble believing this guy could be for real. If this is a legit story, and not a troll, then most likely the woman is simply using him. She’d basically be a fraudster, putting on an act designed to manipulating him into … well, doing what he’s doing. And if she’s any good at it, he could easily continue to believe that he has a chance with her right until he has no more money and can’t get any more loaned to him. His biggest problem would be the 60 grand already sunk; it will cloud his judgement, because recognizing the truth (she has no genuine interest in him; if she were to go out with him she would have to stop fleecing other men; it’s her job to be accomodating) would mean recognizing he’s lost a lot of money. Worse, it would mean recognizing he’d made a fool of himself. So he continues believing in the BS story.
Or it could be an elaborate troll. Always hard to tell.
If it is a troll I applaud the guy for a job very well done.
Okay, you win, this was obviously a troll. I was willing to believe he might just be a troubled person after the first thread, but he went too far with the second - his reactions to the events simply stretched the bounds of credibility. Still, his first thread was a excellent piece of trolling.
I can still believe this isn’t a troll. Stalkers are twisted like this.
In college, I took a course on abnormal psychology. (One of the most fascinating courses I ever took.) One day in class, we watched a video of a psychologist interviewing a woman who said she was in love with a man. That they couldn’t see each other very often, but that they had a very deep and powerful relationship that had been going on for several years. It went on for a couple of minutes, with nothing terribly unusual … And then it emerged that her “boyfriend” was a radio DJ. She had met him in person exactly once; at a publicity event. She had gotten his autograph. He looked her in the eye, and said his catchphrase - “This is for you” - and she immediately knew that meant he loved her. So what if they didn’t see each other very much - he knew she was listening, and so he said “this is for you” on his show a lot. Every time he said that, it was him saying “I love you” so that’s how she knew the relationship was real.
I asked the teacher what would happen if you went to this DJ, explained the situation, and convinced him to stop using the phrase “This is for you” on the air. (Never mind how unlikely this is; supposing it is done.) And the teacher said “You mean, would she realize “Oh my god, I’ve been a fool?” No, she wouldn’t. She would react in precisely the same way that a normal person would if they suddenly broke up with their boy/girlfriend of several years.” When something like this happens to someone, the delusions have already overpowered logic; you can’t force someone to recognize the irrationality of the belief that way. Instead, you have to find out what else is going on in the person’s life that is causing the problem and correct it.
So I can easily believe that this guy’s grip on reality is tenuous enough that he either can’t see or can’t accept the truth. After all, the world has no shortage of twisted stalker types. It’s just that this one decided to start posting on a BBS asking for advice.
(Or it’s an elaborate troll. Hard to tell.)
I’m not arguing that these people don’t exist. I have a degree in psychology and am quite aware that stalking is a very real phenomenon, but the language choices he makes in the second thread cause me to question the validity of his story. He outright sets himself up as being irrational in the way he words some of his accounts and the leading way in which he baits some of his statements. He really should have stopped while he was ahead, in my opinion.
Save yourself trouble, never believe ANYTHING posted on the Site Of Evil. Reading that site will eat your brain. It will literally make you a worse person. Just say no.
Since I can’t read it, I don’t know what the supposed story is. Is he just like constantly frequenting some particular cafe and leaving huge tips for the maid-waitress? That’s hardly her fault, unless she’s ASKING him to give her presents.
If such a thing were true:
It can be extremely difficult for some people (particularly in a culture that values demureness and Not Making A Fuss) to stand up and say “this is creepy, stop doing it”. Sure, a sensible woman should realise there’s something wrong when a stranger is giving you multiple expensive presents. However, if “No, thank you” doesn’t work, what do you do?
If you’re scared enough of losing your job for making a fuss about a customer (you should know, a lot of jobs will happily fire employees if a customer complains) or scared enough of being harmed if you trigger someone’s insanity (If you’ve studied stalkers and psychology you should very well know that telling some people NO will set them off) then you may find yourself in a position of just uncomfortably nodding and smiling and going along with it.
I can’t read the story and I don’t believe it’s likely to be true anyway, but you SHOULD feel sorry for someone who’s become the victim of a creepy Secret Admirer giving them presents.
… the fuck? I hope you were drunk when you wrote that; otherwise you’re going to strongly tempt me to try to get you arrested…
Going to sick the gestapo on me for having an opinion you don’t like, eh? Thankfully voicing your disgusted and frustrated opinions on the internet isn’t an arrest worthy offense as of yet.