Happy April Fool’s Day 2007
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
YUME MIRU KUSURI RELEASE CANCELLED - GOLDEN MASTER STOLEN BY SPY
California - April 1st, 2007 - Bishoujo game publisher Peach Princess has decided to cancel the release of their upcoming title Yume Miru Kusuri :: A Drug That Makes You Dream, after the company filed a report with the local police that their corporate headquaters was broken into, and the Golden Master for the game was stolen. It is suspected that a recently hired employee named Shingo was responsible for the vandalism.
On March 31st, Shingo was caught stealing the Golden Master by Senior Project Coordinator Lamuness and CEO Peter Payne. Lamuness attempted to stop Shingo from escaping but failed and was injured severely. Payne watched in despair as Shingo ran away from the building with the Golden Master. Below is an image recorded by a security camera on site:
<img src="http://www.peachprincess.com/0401/2007/000.jpg" alt=" - " />
Lamuness was sent to the local hospital’s Intensive Care Unit for life-threatening injuries, including severe bruises and scratches, bone fractures, crushed genitalia, and other internal wounds. However, after having his face buried in the bossoms of a well-endowed nurse, he has fully recovered and was released from hospital this morning.
“I always had my doubts about this Shingo guy from day one,” commented Lamuness. “He is always late for work, and flirts with the female staff all the time, even the janitor. Then he spends most of the day here surfing the net for porn, watching youtube, and chating with people on IRC. He never gets any work done at all.”
“The other night I noticed something suspicious in the data room, so I informed my boss Peter and we went together to see what was going on. After seeing Shingo taking the Golden Master all hell broke loose and the next thing I knew I was in ICU with my face buried between a set of nice titties. Man, did you see the size of those massive milk bladders? I can die a happy man now.”
Shingo started working at Peach Princess in mid-January 2007 as a translator and game editor, but his background check was only completed recently. Upon review it was discovered that Shingo is part of a major software piracy ring.
“It all makes perfect sense now,” said Lamuness. “Shingo was sent here as a pirate spy, do nothing but fooling around at work, and wait until the right moment to steal data from our upcoming games so the pirates can distribute them across the internet illegally even before the game is officially released.”
Payne, the CEO of Peach Princess, was very concerned about the incident because with the Golden Master stolen, the company is unable to release the game.
“There are a lot of fans out there eagerly waiting to get their hands on this great game” said Payne. “I hope the police will find the culprit and retrieve the Golden Master soon, or else the fans will be very angry at us for not getting the game released. The Golden Master was just about to be sent out too, before that little son of a $*&#% stole it from us. What have I done to deserve this?”
“Piracy has been a huge problem for us, especially when we have put a lot of hard work on these games. There are pirates, some of them even minors, who just illegally download our games for free from torrents and what not, but this has to be the first time where a pirate physically infiltrated into our company and stole the actual Golden Master.”
Payne is considering doing extensive background checks on all current and future staff to avoid similar incidents from happening again. In the meantime the company has decided to cancel the game’s release and put all orders on hold until the Golden Master is recovered.
The term Golden Master is often used by the gaming industry to refer to the completion of a working title, when the final version of the game is ready to be sent to the duplicators and printers for mass-production and packaging. Without the Golden Master, the game cannot be released.
[ 04-25-2007, 12:29 AM: Message edited by: Lamuness ]
